A Gladiator Never Fails

How do you feel when you have let yourself down? When you have done a blunder, a mess which is impossible to clean? When the loss is so big that you can't salvage anything out of it? When you let those people down who lived by your successes, those people who relished in your triumph, who had managed to keep their heads up proud through your accomplishments? When the rest of the world looks down at you with malice and contempt, and you feel like a Gladiator who had lost his battle?

When you are an achiever, a winner, people start putting up expectations. They expect you to take positions every time you give an exam, to win the competition every time you participate. They make you look like a God, like some unnatural extraterrestrial being which cannot make errors. They say they 'know' that you are going to win, that you will wipe the floor off with your left hand with your eyes closed. They boast around relating you to them. Suddenly you realize that you are no longer living your own life, rather you are fighting and competing with everybody at everything to put up your self to their expectations so that you can keep on hearing their praises. You are now too scared to veer off the path you created yourself in the beginning. The expectation-induced battles are feeble.They make you vulnerable as you really cannot put yourself to fight for something you don't stand for. This causes your portfolio to drop, your position starts to stagger. You put more efforts in it. Its useless. Your mind doesn't agrees to spend the resources. Your tries are futile, your struggle a waste of time. Things get worse as you wipe sweat of your forehead looking at your empire tumble to heaps, ash cloud of tension and urgency obscures your mind. You double and triple your efforts but it doesn't changes anything. Soon enough you are on the brink of failure. Next moment is the catastrophic one. You finally do it. You lose it. Your series of victories is over. A break has been created. The Gladiator is lying down, face in the ruins of your, finally beaten. He cannot meet the eyes of the spectators, his head weighs a ton now.

The Gladiator beats himself, rams his head against the majestic columns, puts dirt in his hairs, screams, screams and screams till his voice box can't emit another sound. He goes in solitary. He separates himself from the wide world, so that he can punish himself for his loss. He sits for hours, mourning. He surrenders to himself.

You have surrendered to your self. Now your thoughts take a new turn. You want to know what caused it. You ponder for hours, trying to find out which step was misplaced. You perform a self analysis. You discover the error point. You vow to return, to gain back the glory, the position you had. You promise yourself that you will win what was rightfully yours. Full of bright intentions and strong determinations, its a new day now.

The Gladiator returns to the city. He has practiced hard, day and night, in desserts, on ice. He feels his strength return back to his body. His head is no longer bowed, its held proudly, high in the enticing air. He follows the familiar paths to the arena, his arena. His feet leaves deep imprints in the brown grey sand. The atmosphere is inviting, his mind is clear. He enters the enclosure, his heart hammering against his ribs. The crowd cheers for his return. Soon everybody will remember how his blade tasted like. The world is his for taking and the Gladiator is back where he belongs.

"He'll bring them death and they will love him for it"-Gracchus, from the movie Gladiator